January 2019 Takeaways

To sum up 2018, it took me out of my comfort zone, made me realize that if I choose to work hard and have the firm belief that I am strong enough, I am strong enough. Emotionally, mentally and spiritually to deal with the curveballs that life throws. With that in mind, I decided to welcome 2019 just as I did with 2018, with arms wide open. Keeping all that in mind, I wanted to keep a journal for my thoughts and to pen them down so that when I feel weak, I can revisit the musings and let myself know that I am capable enough to handle whatever life has to offer. Here are my learnings for the first month of 2019.

I have to admit that the first month of the year has left me a little bit wiser, in terms of my lessons and I hope the Universe has been happy with my learnings so far. But who is to say, this is just one month over out of the 12. To sum up, my January 2019 thus far, would be something like this:

1. Learning to set boundaries: We all know or we have all heard or read somewhere that it is important to set boundaries with people, including the ones we love. I always thought I was clear in the way I drew the line and ensured that everyone I interact with knows that I have my own limits and would prefer to keep it that way. Boy oh boy! This month proved my feeling and thoughts about my boundaries all wrong. It turns out that my line is not as clear to some people and would rather insist on stepping over the line to get me uncomfortable. This made me think. I know I have my line engraved on stone, but perhaps for some, it would appear to have drawn on sand. Therefore, I would have to be more vocal in having these in the first place. There would be no point in me establishing set boundaries if people think they can just run over and rub them off, would it? Therefore my first take away would be to be LOUD and CLEAR to everyone trying to establish a rapport to respect the line that I draw for my sanity at the end of the day.
2. Saying NO: This is connected to the first point. Setting boundaries, it comes with learning how to say to NO, in an assertive manner. In case people choose to have selective hearing and ignore your no, time to get the microphone out and yell into their ears until they decide to back off and hear your no. As a child, I always had problems saying no, which is why I always ended up being stretched too thin and not keeping everyone happy. I did not know at the time that saying no will not decrease my worth, neither did I realize that being a people pleaser will always attract toxic people, who by the way are not good for your own happiness. Learning how to say no has been a difficult lesson and as proved, I had to be really vocal about my no, otherwise, just like your boundaries being erased, your no will go unheard or will get tested time and again.
3. Understanding toxic people: We all read about toxic relations, it could be your closest family, your best friend, someone you just met online or your significant other. The thing with toxic people is that they just cannot stand you being happy or working hard. They are energy vampires who feed off of you. You do not realize where your energy is going but just feel so depleted. You know you are supposed to be happy when they message, cause they are your friends, are they not? Instead, you dread sending a reply, because somewhere, you know they are like the black hole, crushing anything or anyone who gets so close. The best thing you can do it cut off ties as soon as possible and I know heartbreak can feel like it is the worst feeling in the world, but what would you rather have? Peace of mind where you know that you are being supported by people who love you and the hard work you put in or being stuck in a relationship where support systems just bring you down for working so hard? The choice is yours.
4. Be happy: Biggest takeaway of this month? Be happy wherever you are and whatever you choose to do. Work hard, put your heart and soul into the work that you are doing, life will reward you. Most importantly, happiness is an inside job. No one can gift wrap a package full of happiness and say, “here, go be happy”. Unless you decide to be happy yourself, nothing and no one can help you.

This is what I have learnt so far since the month began. What I would like to know is what are your biggest learnings this month. Comment below and let know, we can learn and grow together.