Get uncomfortable. Here’s why.

Would you rather stay in a smaller circle or be brave enough to reach out and extend?

A comfort zone by definition is a safe haven, where nothing can go wrong. You are in your own world, everything is perfect. After all, you are comfortable, aren’t you? It IS your own world at the end of the day. What if someday, you are forced to extend your arm, nay, a finger even out of the zone? Would you panic or embrace the change? Knowing that most of us would switch to flight mode, it is safe to say, having your finger inside your circle is safer. But what if you decided to be brave and pop yourself out of small little world only to discover a whole new galaxy awaiting you? It is scary at first, but the unknown soon becomes known. What would you rather prefer? An exciting new adventure of growth or a life of being stagnant?

Over the period that I have been uncomfortable, I have always found myself walking on eggshells and sometimes it just feels like a bad idea of getting out and expanding your circle. But here’s why getting uncomfortable can help:

1. Your brain gets rewired: When you decide to get out of your comfort zone, your brain gets rewired. You would be thinking,”why girl! You seem to be flipping! I do not want my brain rewired.” Just hear me out or in this case, read it. When your brain gets rewired, you are forcing yourself to stay in the moment. You want your brain to focus. When we get uncomfortable, we tend to shut down our thinking facility, but it serves well to remember that eventually when we do conquer our fears, we learn something new. Rewiring the brain is forcing ourselves to learn something new and unlearning the conditioning we were taught since childhood.
2. You learn to overcome fear: This one is easy. Every new thing that you start will begin with fear. It is human nature to fear that which we do not understand. I remember when I started off as a waitress. I was terrified of people judging me, but I eventually got over my fear and got uncomfortable. I learnt something out of the experience, I overcame my fear and rewired my brain into learning something new. Any skill that gets added is never a waste for getting uncomfortable.
3. It helps you grow: Getting uncomfortable is the probably the best way to grow and fast. You soon learn to overcome hurdles you never thought you could overcome and you grow so much more as a person. When you grow, you succeed.
4. It keeps you healthy: Let’s face it, have you even undergone so much stress that you ultimately resort to self-destructive behavior? This could be binge eating, excess alcohol consumption, maybe getting too friendly with a woman named Mary Jane? I know I have. I tend to indulge in food when I stress out and I can assure you, it is not a very healthy coping mechanism. I mean, it sure works for some time, but it does not make the problem go away. The sooner you learn to deal with stress, in a healthy manner, the better it is for you. I recently started with writing down my thoughts and feelings and it has helped me tremendously.
5. It helps you increase your Emotional Quotient: I know what you are probably thinking, “how?!”. Once you start recognizing that you are getting uncomfortable, you start noticing how you react and when you do, you start thinking of ways to reduce your reaction time and rather be proactive about the situation. When you are in tune with your own feelings, you now are capable enough of understanding other people as well. You understand their thought patterns, feeling their emotions comes naturally to you, because you have tuned in to yourself to understand where you come from.
6. Getting comfortable is dangerous: Picture this- you have a steady office job, you are settled there quite comfortably. I mean, it pays your bills, your life is good and then one day you realize that the people you used to work with have been promoted and are working for different companies with way better packages. You see the picture here? I am sure none of you think that it is an ideal situation for you, but this is what getting comfortable can do to you. You miss out on the opportunities that life has in store for you, just because you refused to get uncomfortable.

So, there you have it. What do you think works best for you? Getting comfortable or being uncomfortable, expanding your skill set and rewiring your brain?

Comment below and let me know what are some of your ways of getting uncomfortable? Is it a new skill to acquire, a new role within a new company? Or is it travelling to a new country to meet new people?

April 2019 Takeaways

So, what do you know. April is almost over and the year seems to closing in on me a little too quickly. I don’t know about you, but this year I resolved to learn from the year that shall be, one day at a time, one month at a time. It seems like the universe is happily complying to my thoughts and vibrations (well Universe, you win this round). But real talk, since I have made it my mission to focus on personal growth, I feel much more at peace and perhaps have a little more understanding about myself as a person and what I want from life.

So, what are my takeaways from the month of April? Read on and hopefully, this post encourages you, even if it is just for a little while.

1. Pack and move on: So, those of you who follow me, also know that I recently moved to a different city, a different home with people I have never met before. But here is the thing, what I learnt this month is that you outgrow certain people and certain situations. You also understand that it is okay to shed skin if it no longer serves you. This skin could be people you once had a great connect with, the place you fell in love with but sometimes, this is the universe saying to you that it is time to level up. I have learnt that the more I fight with the Cosmos, the more unbearable my situation becomes and the people around me become. So, what did I do? I packed and moved on.
2. Outgrow, outgrow outgrow: Thus far, this month for me personally has been about outgrowing my jobs and people around me. The month of April is screaming “level up and outgrow.” I have said it once, I shall say it again, there is no shame in outgrowing the people, the place, the job you once had. Honestly, these new shoes fit me well!
3. Beware of energy vampires: You read that right. Energy vampires are sneaky. They drain you, mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually even without you realizing it. These people will portray like they are the epitome of perfection, blame all their problems on your head and if you are someone like me, you avoid confrontation, but in the end it is overall detrimental to your health. My advice? Ground yourself, stay alone if you have to, but whatever you do, do not give away your power to these vile human beings. I know it is easier said than done, but the truth is you need to learn how to identify them and stay grounded.
4. Travel: It helps you grow as a person. Travel, when you can and as much as you can. If possible, take a solo trip. It helps you appreciate your company even more. Travel helps you understand that there is more to life than just work.
5. Make friends of different nationalities: I can’t emphasis enough on this one. Unfortunately, by the time I could learn more about different people from different parts of the world, it was time for me to leave, but for what it is worth, there is one thing I understood. Though our countries maybe separated by borders, our skin color may not match, our linguistics nothing alike, in the end we are all human, our hearts will beat as one. We all seek kindness, we all look for friendship and ultimately we all seek comfort in food (for real, it is the truth). Meeting people from different parts of the world, the stereotypes are shattered, you perhaps become a little more open to people and start accepting that the world is wide, even if you have explored just a little bit of the world through someone else.
6. Generosity pays: This one does not pay in terms of money, but definitely in terms of gratitude. Now, I am not saying that you donate because you expect something in return, donate because you want to. Wholeheartedly, without any expectations.
7. Learn to disappoint people: Perhaps the hardest lesson I learnt this month is to be okay with disappointing people. Especially the ones who expect way too much from you. It is okay to say no and live with it. Do as much as you can and then stop. You cannot give your entire hand to someone just because they got used to you giving them a finger to hold. People will take you on a guilt trip, but as one of my closest people said,”never let anyone guilt trip you”. The right to say no belongs to you and you have the right to use without feeling guilty about it.
8. Keep minimum expectations: Well, this is by far the most important lesson I have learnt, watching others having build too many expectations. The reason most people are unhappy is because they expect too much. The solution is simple- help wholeheartedly and have no expectations of help in return.

Overall, this month has been a massive learning lesson. April has helped me purge and understand that there are certain situations we can control and some which we have no control over. Ultimately, what we can do is accept the changes and move on. If we can control certain situations, for instance, if we know our job is dead end, the city we stay in is expensive, what can we do? Complain or start applying for jobs and move on? Whether you choose to have a good life with a positive mindset or you choose to stay in the gutter with a mindset that needs a massive clean out, that choice is ultimately yours to make.

Hopefully, this takeaway is helpful to you on your journey. If this post resonated with you, leave a like, leave a comment and most importantly, pass it on to others who could benefit from this post.

For more inspiration, follow me on my Instagram handle: moonlit__blossoms.

Until then, stay lit, stay positive and keep learning.