May 2019 Takeaways

As the fifth month of 2019 draws to an end, I sit and think what the month of May had to offer in terms of learning and my growth.

But you know this month has been fantastic in terms of growth and personal discovery and normally, I would not have to sit and think what each month has given me personally. Is it because I think I know it all and have nothing left to learn? The answer is NO. There is always so much to learn from everything and everyone around you, that I find it difficult, especially for this month to summarize what I learnt. I got to be honest here, I think 2019 is flying by and I just wish for once, time would slow down and let us breathe a bit. But that’s not life, is it? The truth is, May is the month where I learnt just that and of course, a few other things like:

1. Free yourself emotionally: If you happen to know anything about me, you also know that I got out of a very toxic work environment and also a emotionally draining relationship. Before you get it twisted, it wasn’t a romantic relation, sadly just someone I used to work with. When I moved away, I found a huge sense of relief emotionally and mentally.
   The truth be told, I didn’t realize how damaging it can be to your own self esteem to have someone who eats into your energy constantly, just by their constant cribbing and spreading their frustration all around. But what can you do when life throws such curve balls at you? The only thing you can do is move away, free yourself and have strict boundaries.
   You are probably wondering how you would go about freeing yourself? Create distance, mentally choose to forgive the person and move on. What happens if creating distance is not an option but you have to live with them? One thing I did learn is to create an emotional distance, not letting them know what you are doing, and let go.
   Freeing yourself emotionally is the best thing you can do, for your own peace of mind.
   
   
2. Set your intentions: So, you ever want something so badly that it is all you dream about? Good. But you know what is better? Setting an intention, writing it down, letting go and trusting the universe. Somehow, somewhere, things begin falling into place and just like that life seems to be falling into place.
   I have always been a firm believer of the universe has your back, but there are times that my faith is shaken, but that is always the cosmos testing me. Trust and you shall receive. In way when I write this down, it is to make me feel better knowing that someone/something has my back, I can now fall asleep peacefully.
   
   
3. Send good vibes: I know you are probably tired of hearing it, send good vibes only. But in reality, sending good vibes results in having good vibes amplified and sent back to you. If you want to have a good day, act like a good person!
   
   
4. You will find love: This is true, you will find love anywhere you go. Of course, you have to give love to receive love. The universe somehow somewhere just knows what you need at any given moment and delivers. Love is what will keep you going, knowing someone is always there to look out for you.
   
   
5. Family, above all else: In all the time I have lived alone, if there is one thing I have learnt and acknowledged, finally, is family will be there, no matter what. Your friends will change, you will suffer a heartbreak, you will have toxic relations that will end, but your family will always be there to have your back, even if it includes people who are not related to you by blood.
   
   
6. Have a hobby to ease the stress: This could be anything under the sun. You could love reading, are eloquent with words, love dancing, have an eye for good scenes, whether you like dabbling around with color, whatever it it that keeps you happy, just go for it.
   
   
7. Express love and gratitude more: For those of you who know me, also know that expressing affection is difficult for me, but I have started coming around to let people know how much they mean to me, even if its in the smallest of way. It works to replace negative thoughts about people with the ones you love, the humans you trust, than have the negatives and the naysayers run your day. After all, it is your day, you run it or you let the day run you.

Comment below and let me know your thoughts and your learning for the month of May. How have you decided to keep track of what keeps you going?

Energy Vampires-who they are and how to defend yourself against them.

Some people are like Count Dracula. They suck the living daylights out of you.

Have you ever had a conversation with a friend and by the end of it do you feel so drained that you don’t know what hit you? You, my friend, have just ended a talk with an energy vampire. Energy vampires look just like us, except they have a sense of entitlement that the world revolves around them. They are incapable of accepting that you have a life of your own. They are emotionally immature individuals, they never look at the world through another person’s perspective. Who they are and what they do is so important that they couldn’t care less about how you feel and what you have scheduled on your agenda.

Spending time with these people will drain you, leave you irritated and frustrated and most of all negative, because that is what they do. They talk the negative talk and eat into your space of peace and sanctity and expect you to be nice to them, cause why not? The world revolves around them. The minute you say anything that does not agree to their conscience, they make it look like it is all your fault and that YOU let them down. If you have ever felt any of the emotions around them such as dread, fear, guilt or even the feeling of wanting to run away just so they spot you and feed of off you, you are in the presence of an energy vampire. Here are some ways you can defend yourself against this energy sucking presence:

1. Know yourself: By this I mean, truly get in touch with yourself. Understand your emotional capacity, your resilience against such people and how best you can go about avoiding being drained by them. Now, this depends on how regularly you self reflect; this could be your regular walks, whether you practice meditation and how you choose you decompress at the end of the day.
   
   Self reflections helps you understand yourself better and as a result you will develop a higher emotional capacity. When you get into self reflection practices, you will be kinder to yourself and will also learn to go within to understand that whatever has happened to you in your entire day is not of your doing and it helps you understand patterns when you unknowingly encounter such individuals.
   
   One more thing to consider once you have done all your homework, aka, self reflection, is what position does this individual hold over your life? Is this a colleague at work that you have to see everyday, is it a relative/friend that you probably see once a month or maybe once a week or is it someone who stays with you and shares your room? If it is your colleague and all you care about it work, then you have higher emotional capacity. But if it someone you stay AND have to work with but are too scared to openly voice out what you feel is wrong only because you know they will manipulate the situation to their own advantage, you are paying a high price for that kind of fear.
   
   
2. Assessing the energy vampire in your life: Your first glace at this person and you think,”okay, everything looks good here.” BEEP BEEP: Warning coming through; though energy vampires look like us, deep down they suck every last drop of emotional capacity from just by being near you. While it is true that you cannot really make a snap judgement about a person, maybe it is time to take a back seat and evaluate a person. Take extra help if needed from someone you trust, talk to them about this person and take an unbiased opinion of all their actions.
   
   Chances are if you feel mentally and emotionally lethargic or guilty after having spoken to this person, your unbiased third person opinion will come through. This is when you need to know that it is better to cut this person out of your life, slowly and eventually without them knowing about it. You see, energy vampires make you feel guilty with just about everything. Any discomfort or confrontation that happens with these kinds of individuals, it will be flung back in your face and trust me, it will not leave you feeling pretty. In fact, it will make you question your life choices and yourself.
   
   Best solution: create firm boundaries around yourself and protect yourself. Energy is precious, and that energy should be invested on you alone. Sure, people you love and care about deserve the kind of energy you keep for yourself, but if the assessment holds true, it is not selfish to want to protect your sanity and peace from this kind of person.
   
   
3. Visualize yourself protected: Now, I am a big advocate on visualizing anything and everything you need in life, including protective energy. Imagine a beautiful white light surrounding you encompassed in shimmering gold. You have now created an energetic force field which is neutral and therefore whatever these vampires say and do won’t harm you. Now obviously, this is like muscle memory. The more you do it, the more you feel protected. If at all you were to find yourself in the presence of this person, keep this barrier on and know that anything this person says or does will not affect you.
   
   If imagining a protective energetic field does not work for you, then it is time to reaffirm your boundaries with this person. Be gentle but firm in asking them to not clutter your space and whatever you do, do not feel guilty about saying no or not “living up to their expectations”. It is time you lived up to your expectations and not theirs.
   
   
4. Know your self worth: You are a star and deserve to be treated that way. Know it, believe it and affirm it.

These were just a few tips to protect and ground yourself against an energy vampire. If you do know any other life hacks to defend yourself against such individuals, please feel free to share them in the comments below. Also, do not forget to like and follow my page for much such content.

Thank you for taking time to read what I write. I do appreciate you taking your time out read. Until the next blog post!