Measuring Life-One Pizza Slice at a Time

The Awkward Yeti is dope, just saying.

This is my second blog with a food title in it, by now I figure, what is life without food? Food is one thing that creates connections among people, food is where people bond (only second to alcohol) but PIZZA is one comfort food you can never go wrong with. But you know, not many (like me) think when they order pizza. They just wing it when they customise it or they just go with what is a ready option. But I find that life is really like the food we choose, the choices we make with the kind of food we prefer and if you are someone who likes pineapple on your pizza, you are about to get judged so hard. No jokes, really.

But that is what life is, if you really think of it, in terms of a pizza slice. Seemingly simple, but if you put in enough thought in customizing pizza, can be just as delicious and well, worth living. In saying that, not everything you add as an extra topping for your pizza will always turn out to be the best option or give you the taste you are after, that is how life is. Not every step you take with thought will give you the desired results. Sometimes you need to go the old fashioned boring way of doing things and life seems to approve of that too. Having said that, when you decide to add on extra to your pizza, how much thought do you put in the process, think of all the flavors and topping s that will go with the pizza sauce, what will compliment the base you have chosen, the kind of cheese you would like to be sprinkled or do you just wing it?

If you decide to wing it, how often do those decisions you made, without thought work out best in your favor? If you choose to think about all the choices you make and then take decisive action, do things fall into place just as simply? When I sat to pen this down on paper, with this piece of writing, a lot of realizations came home. Something as simple as ordering a pizza made me ponder as to how similar living life and eating pizza are so alike.

Life is like baking a pizza, deceptively simple, yet ask the ones who knead the dough. They know how difficult and time consuming it can be to get the desired results and the consistency required for a pizza base to come life once put in the oven. The sauces you choose, the toppings you take are yours and unique only to you.

No one really knows how difficult or easy another’s life is. The decisions we make, the choices we have, the weight on our shoulders, no one can really fathom how much we undergo and yet we get questioned for the tough calls, just like people ask, “why did you have to choose pepperoni? It would have been better with salami.” Funny thing is, we get someone else involved in making our pizza too, because we end up sharing it. Just like life. We share our pizza because we want people close to us to know we love them enough to share our beloved comfort food. We share details of our life only because we want someone we are close, to be to in the loop, to let them know we care enough to share.

Why do we then look down on the hard decisions taken, all the unkind comments we make as to how one is supposed to live? If someone likes pizza without the extra toppings, who are we to add anything more? Who are we to give “expert advice” to someone wanting to live a normal, simple existence? Life is much like a slice of pizza. Personal preferences seem to be topping the list and it would probably work better if we kept a tight restraint on wanting to mouth off as to how someone else to be living their life, just like ordering a pizza.

Next time perhaps when you order pizza from your favorite food place, consider how you decide your extras, how you would like your pizza and keep in mind how someone you love would like it too. Perhaps if we lived one pizza slice at a time, the world would be a slightly better place to live, where people are kinder, some if not all actions lovely and just easier to breath knowing you have made life a bit smoother by not judging the kind of life people you love choose to live.

May 2019 Takeaways

As the fifth month of 2019 draws to an end, I sit and think what the month of May had to offer in terms of learning and my growth.

But you know this month has been fantastic in terms of growth and personal discovery and normally, I would not have to sit and think what each month has given me personally. Is it because I think I know it all and have nothing left to learn? The answer is NO. There is always so much to learn from everything and everyone around you, that I find it difficult, especially for this month to summarize what I learnt. I got to be honest here, I think 2019 is flying by and I just wish for once, time would slow down and let us breathe a bit. But that’s not life, is it? The truth is, May is the month where I learnt just that and of course, a few other things like:

1. Free yourself emotionally: If you happen to know anything about me, you also know that I got out of a very toxic work environment and also a emotionally draining relationship. Before you get it twisted, it wasn’t a romantic relation, sadly just someone I used to work with. When I moved away, I found a huge sense of relief emotionally and mentally.
   The truth be told, I didn’t realize how damaging it can be to your own self esteem to have someone who eats into your energy constantly, just by their constant cribbing and spreading their frustration all around. But what can you do when life throws such curve balls at you? The only thing you can do is move away, free yourself and have strict boundaries.
   You are probably wondering how you would go about freeing yourself? Create distance, mentally choose to forgive the person and move on. What happens if creating distance is not an option but you have to live with them? One thing I did learn is to create an emotional distance, not letting them know what you are doing, and let go.
   Freeing yourself emotionally is the best thing you can do, for your own peace of mind.
   
   
2. Set your intentions: So, you ever want something so badly that it is all you dream about? Good. But you know what is better? Setting an intention, writing it down, letting go and trusting the universe. Somehow, somewhere, things begin falling into place and just like that life seems to be falling into place.
   I have always been a firm believer of the universe has your back, but there are times that my faith is shaken, but that is always the cosmos testing me. Trust and you shall receive. In way when I write this down, it is to make me feel better knowing that someone/something has my back, I can now fall asleep peacefully.
   
   
3. Send good vibes: I know you are probably tired of hearing it, send good vibes only. But in reality, sending good vibes results in having good vibes amplified and sent back to you. If you want to have a good day, act like a good person!
   
   
4. You will find love: This is true, you will find love anywhere you go. Of course, you have to give love to receive love. The universe somehow somewhere just knows what you need at any given moment and delivers. Love is what will keep you going, knowing someone is always there to look out for you.
   
   
5. Family, above all else: In all the time I have lived alone, if there is one thing I have learnt and acknowledged, finally, is family will be there, no matter what. Your friends will change, you will suffer a heartbreak, you will have toxic relations that will end, but your family will always be there to have your back, even if it includes people who are not related to you by blood.
   
   
6. Have a hobby to ease the stress: This could be anything under the sun. You could love reading, are eloquent with words, love dancing, have an eye for good scenes, whether you like dabbling around with color, whatever it it that keeps you happy, just go for it.
   
   
7. Express love and gratitude more: For those of you who know me, also know that expressing affection is difficult for me, but I have started coming around to let people know how much they mean to me, even if its in the smallest of way. It works to replace negative thoughts about people with the ones you love, the humans you trust, than have the negatives and the naysayers run your day. After all, it is your day, you run it or you let the day run you.

Comment below and let me know your thoughts and your learning for the month of May. How have you decided to keep track of what keeps you going?

April 2019 Takeaways

So, what do you know. April is almost over and the year seems to closing in on me a little too quickly. I don’t know about you, but this year I resolved to learn from the year that shall be, one day at a time, one month at a time. It seems like the universe is happily complying to my thoughts and vibrations (well Universe, you win this round). But real talk, since I have made it my mission to focus on personal growth, I feel much more at peace and perhaps have a little more understanding about myself as a person and what I want from life.

So, what are my takeaways from the month of April? Read on and hopefully, this post encourages you, even if it is just for a little while.

1. Pack and move on: So, those of you who follow me, also know that I recently moved to a different city, a different home with people I have never met before. But here is the thing, what I learnt this month is that you outgrow certain people and certain situations. You also understand that it is okay to shed skin if it no longer serves you. This skin could be people you once had a great connect with, the place you fell in love with but sometimes, this is the universe saying to you that it is time to level up. I have learnt that the more I fight with the Cosmos, the more unbearable my situation becomes and the people around me become. So, what did I do? I packed and moved on.
2. Outgrow, outgrow outgrow: Thus far, this month for me personally has been about outgrowing my jobs and people around me. The month of April is screaming “level up and outgrow.” I have said it once, I shall say it again, there is no shame in outgrowing the people, the place, the job you once had. Honestly, these new shoes fit me well!
3. Beware of energy vampires: You read that right. Energy vampires are sneaky. They drain you, mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually even without you realizing it. These people will portray like they are the epitome of perfection, blame all their problems on your head and if you are someone like me, you avoid confrontation, but in the end it is overall detrimental to your health. My advice? Ground yourself, stay alone if you have to, but whatever you do, do not give away your power to these vile human beings. I know it is easier said than done, but the truth is you need to learn how to identify them and stay grounded.
4. Travel: It helps you grow as a person. Travel, when you can and as much as you can. If possible, take a solo trip. It helps you appreciate your company even more. Travel helps you understand that there is more to life than just work.
5. Make friends of different nationalities: I can’t emphasis enough on this one. Unfortunately, by the time I could learn more about different people from different parts of the world, it was time for me to leave, but for what it is worth, there is one thing I understood. Though our countries maybe separated by borders, our skin color may not match, our linguistics nothing alike, in the end we are all human, our hearts will beat as one. We all seek kindness, we all look for friendship and ultimately we all seek comfort in food (for real, it is the truth). Meeting people from different parts of the world, the stereotypes are shattered, you perhaps become a little more open to people and start accepting that the world is wide, even if you have explored just a little bit of the world through someone else.
6. Generosity pays: This one does not pay in terms of money, but definitely in terms of gratitude. Now, I am not saying that you donate because you expect something in return, donate because you want to. Wholeheartedly, without any expectations.
7. Learn to disappoint people: Perhaps the hardest lesson I learnt this month is to be okay with disappointing people. Especially the ones who expect way too much from you. It is okay to say no and live with it. Do as much as you can and then stop. You cannot give your entire hand to someone just because they got used to you giving them a finger to hold. People will take you on a guilt trip, but as one of my closest people said,”never let anyone guilt trip you”. The right to say no belongs to you and you have the right to use without feeling guilty about it.
8. Keep minimum expectations: Well, this is by far the most important lesson I have learnt, watching others having build too many expectations. The reason most people are unhappy is because they expect too much. The solution is simple- help wholeheartedly and have no expectations of help in return.

Overall, this month has been a massive learning lesson. April has helped me purge and understand that there are certain situations we can control and some which we have no control over. Ultimately, what we can do is accept the changes and move on. If we can control certain situations, for instance, if we know our job is dead end, the city we stay in is expensive, what can we do? Complain or start applying for jobs and move on? Whether you choose to have a good life with a positive mindset or you choose to stay in the gutter with a mindset that needs a massive clean out, that choice is ultimately yours to make.

Hopefully, this takeaway is helpful to you on your journey. If this post resonated with you, leave a like, leave a comment and most importantly, pass it on to others who could benefit from this post.

For more inspiration, follow me on my Instagram handle: moonlit__blossoms.

Until then, stay lit, stay positive and keep learning.

Have we forgotten how to fill our emotional tanks?

Before we get into anything and you reach the bottom of the post without many takeaways, please do understand that we are all human and would love a little TLC every now and then. Yes, including the ones who have been fiercely independent and think they need no one to confide in or turn to. This post comes from a very raw place as I did find myself forgetting to fill the emotional tank. So, if you find yourself or someone you love and are close to, running low, do not hesitate to reach out and help.

Those of you who know me understand that I march forward and even though I am a big advocate on mental health, there have been times and one so recently that I forgot to check in with myself. The end result: a big emotional meltdown. This made me realize that we have been so busy pursuing life, money, luxury, success, fortune, and fame that more often than not, we forget what our core values are, what we battle against and in doing so, ironically, life, the universe ends up giving us the same lessons we dish out to others.

There are reasons why we neglect mental health. Mostly it is because of the stigma attached to mental health. No one really talks about depression, burnouts, emotional exhaustion because people think they will be branded as someone “loco”, someone was not fit enough for their organization and sadly, it is true. Many of us choose to keep it out because we fear losing friends, close relations and most importantly jobs. Something that keeps us going, we like seeing our bank account appreciating, without a job, that is not really possible, is it? So, we do what we have been told. Suppress it. Do not let it show. There are people watching every move. If they find you are exhausted, God forbid!

Social media is another reason why we forget to feed our souls. We are so busy comparing our bloopers reel to everyone else’s highlight reels, we forget that we too have wonderful movies unseen. Unseen by the same people who created it, us. It is really regretful when we start comparing our lives to everyone else’s. There is no point in doing that. Social media is increasingly making it more difficult to disconnect from the world and connect with ourselves. Unless we decide to use social media productively, and every other resource at our disposal correctly, news will always have a section of people in their early 20s and 30s committing suicide. Only because we many to connect to and yet no one to connect with.

Work stress is another factor we tend to forget to look after ourselves. We are so involved in wanting to make money, we forget to make time. Time to bond, time to laugh, time to check in and see whether we are getting by fine or are we pretending to be okay? In fooling the world, we end up fooling ourselves the most. After all, we are who we reflect the world. If the world thinks we are fine, we are fine. The biggest lie ever told is, “I am okay.” While work is important, it is imperative to carve out a schedule where you do absolutely nothing. Just kick back and relax. Watch Netflix without guilt, eat all the chocolate you want and like. It is not so bad, really. But then again, we are conditioned to think and believe that if we do not utilize all the 24 hours appropriately, we are nothing but lazy, sloth-like and lethargic. I call bullsh*t on that. If anything, I have learned is to take time out and relax and not feel bad about it.

It is safe to say that we have forgotten to fill our emotional tanks, as a result of which, there are episodes of crying, lashing out, being irritable and not wanting to do anything about it. It is okay to cry, but even better is seeking out help, talking to someone, checking in with yourself, understanding yourself and know when to stop pushing yourself. Take a break, come back stronger and fight on. It is always good to take a break and live to fight another day rather than going into battle and getting yourself killed like a fool. Your needs matter too. So do mine and so does everybody else’s. Emotional and mental breaks are necessary. Lesson learned. This post was a reminder for me to take a deep breathe, a break and live to conquer another mountain. One day at a time.

A Letter to Life

Hi there,

I know it has been long since we connected, so hello. How have you been? I trust that you have been treating you well, yes? I know you always get ill-will with everyone stating that life is unfair (so have I), but to you to I say, yes, you have been unfair. A lot of times. There are moments when I am living you, I just wish there was a little more balance in the way you approach people. Maybe not so in your face, but then again, you really don’t care what people think about you, do you? You do what you have to, to restore balance, to keep a few sane but some not so sane. I did not understand the way you work, but now that I have grown up, I do understand a few of your quirks, I do comprehend your honesty and I have also come to realise that I need to treat you as a regular person. Someone who makes unreasonable demands throws fits and temper tantrums, but also someone who is just as loving and capable if treated right. But even after treating you right, you are unfair and as a child, I never forgave that aspect of you but as an adult, I have learnt how to forgive you, I have learnt to accept you, just as I would with every other person that I meet today.
So, here’s take two on this rant.

Take 2

Hello Life!

It’s been really long since we connected and this is me, saying hello. I now treat you as I would my closest friends and family. You see, growing up, I never really understood the concept of giving and taking respect. As an adult, it is a concept that I have grasped (I hope it is not too late) and now that you know how I consider you as a regular person, I have come to respect you, love you and understand you. Of course, there are times that you drive me up the wall, but then again, if I wouldn’t have considered you this close, I would not have the nerve to annoy you and argue with you.

This is me saying thank you for all the times you proved me wrong. Remember the times when you knocked me down, but I refused to throw the towel, because I wanted to keep fighting, no matter what the cost? Yes, I do thank you. You made me understand my own inner strength and you may have guarded that secret until I was ready to realise my own potential, but you lifted the veil just when I had given up, for which I am grateful.

You also made me understand my own weaknesses, especially when I thought I could move mountains. This was when you made me understand that not every challenge that you throw across is a challenge that I was going to win. You made me understand the value of pressing pause, taking rest, sharpening my saw and taught me to get back up smarter and wiser.  I definitely did not appreciate the lessons back then, but now I do.

You of everyone that I have in my inner circle, have taught me the most. When I couldn’t forgive, you gradually took over, easing my pain, when I was angry, you took over, teaching me to let go of the source of anger. When I was happy, you taught me, slowly but gradually to enjoy each moment and not take a single second of happiness for granted. When I was upset, I learnt from you that sadness does not last forever and that at the end of every dark tunnel, there is always light, that I have to look for the light within me and more than anything, you have taught me to trust myself and to always have my own back.

Life, you have also trained me to accept people unconditionally, because just like you, they can be unfair, unrelenting and not so smooth sailing. You have also taught me that people can be difficult, but that does not stop them from being beautiful, just as you are. All this, only because I see you as a regular person. Just as I would learn from people, I have learnt from you. There have been times where I have detested you (especially as a child) but as an adult (still trying to adult here), I understand a lot better and I do not loathe you as much (there are times, even now) but I take every lesson that you hand out to me with a pinch of salt, just as I would when people have taught me.

So here’s to you. Thank you for being a mentor, an anchor, a guide and a lot more than just being you. You can be a pain in all the wrong places, but that comes with accepting you as a person and not as the awkward moment between birth and death anymore.

Yours truly.